unsaid but hopefully well written

my most favorite part of Rick Riordan's series of demigods stories is the friendship between Percy and Annabeth.

Q : of all your Camp Half-Blood friends, who would you most like to have with you in battle?
A : Oh. Percy. No contest. I mean, sure he can be annoying, but he's dependable. He's brave and he's a good fighter. Normally, as long as I'm telling him what to do, he wins in a fight. 

we don't travel back in time. we just don't.

because once we know we can have that second chance, we will waste the first knowing we can try it again later. however, though we don't travel back in time, sometimes we just screw the chances.

every time I watch this drama, that thought come to me. I feel relieved though because I don't need any fairy tale to messed up with my already-drama mind.

I just hope that this kind of thought etched within me.

this prayer move me :

Ya Allah, when I lose hope because my plan have come to nothing, then help me to remember that Your love is always greater that my disappointments. And Your plans for my life are always better than my dreams. (source)

the prayer somehow fit me the best. After two days running away from reality, keep on re-watching videos to help me forget a thing, I came to a conclusion. No matter far I run, the past will never change. It may not be forgotten too after all the time, but it helps you grow into someone bigger than you are before.

People who tells that the process is more important than the result are not a hypocrite. Neither those who care only about the result. Maybe we just have to take every small good things from both the process and the result and learn from them patiently. For the life itself is a never-ending learning process.

happy holiday! :)

hal paling sulit saat mau mulai ngerjain persiapan presentasi adalah niat. There's a lot in mind already, but the will hasn't come yet. Cliche, dan sebenernya dibuat-buat. Tapi entah kenapa selalu terjadi empat kali setahun, dua kali tiap semester. tiap mau uas dan uts.

kalo liat portfolio orang-orang di internet itu suka sedih sendiri kalo liat folder tugas di komputer. mereka kalo ngerjain itu penuh passion dan keliatannya emang kayak lagi seneng-seneng bukan menuhin deadline. seringnya tanya-tanya sendiri, kapaaaan ya kerjaan gue keliatannya bisa kayak gitu. salahnya adalah, yang gue lakukan cuma nanya-nanya sendiri aja, bukannya bergerak. hehehehehe. ini masalah se obvious ini kok nggak ilang-ilang juga, ya?

jadi yaudahlah, ini post tentang refleksi diri doang. soalnya lagi butek, minggu depan presentasi tapi mood ngerjain ga dateng-dateng, ngetok pintu di kepala aja nggak. huah. what am I going to do with myself? but anyway, harusnya quote-nya Edmud Bacon bener, ya : "It's in the doing that the idea come,"


happy (almost) holiday

The Hunger Games trilogy is the most thought-provoking, mind blowing, with the unhappiest happy ending story I have ever read. It is intense, and it doesn't even lose its charm after 3 books. I did think it was boring at the second book, but when I move to the second part of the book, I change my mind. Anthony Horowitz and Rick Riordan has not been exaggerating for their comment on the cover.

Thank you, Suzanne Collins, for Katniss Everdeen, Johanna Mason, Cinna, Prim, the prep trio, Haymitch Abernathy, Boggs, and Katniss' father. Thank you for the brilliant Quarter Quell Arena. Thank you for the shocking ending.

Somehow I realized that I rarely write about my life as an architecture student.

Sebagai anak arsitektur, gue merasa hidup dalam asumsi orang banyak. Begitu ada orang yang denger kalo gue adalah anak arsitektur, secepat itu juga mereka menyebutkan meja gambar. I can't say it was wrong, though it is not entirely right. Menjelaskan pada orang-orang mengenai apa yang sebetulnya gue kerjakan menurut gue sulit. Gue menggunakan meja gambar di kampus, tapi gue tidak melakukan seperti apa yang mereka bayangkan; gambar teknik for almost 24/7, in my school, we are not doing that kind of thing.

Biasanya gue menjawab; 'nggak kok, sekarang udah pake komputer,' yang sebenarnya nggak sepenuhnya benar. gue menjawab seperti itu setelah menyesuaikan diri dengan apa yang ada di bayangan sebagian besar orang yang bertanya, bahwa kerjaan gue adalah menggambar dan menggambar.

Seriously, kalau ditanya tentang gimana kuliah di arsitektur, I believe that I will never be able to explain it in a short time. Tadi sore, secara random temen gue bilang kalo gue bisa menulis tentang anak ars, that would be interesting. Karena suruhan random itulah gue jadi kepikiran, but I'm not really sure where to start and what to tell. And that makes me come up with this idea. What about asking people what is it that they're want to know about architecture school and architecture student. Tentu saja semua yang gue tulis akan penuh dengan pengalaman pribadi gue yang mungkin tidak ditemui di sekolah lain, but anyway, if you want to know anything, just leave your feedback. thank you :)

dear you,

reading yours makes me feel like I have done something really wrong back then. At the slightest time, I hope for the time to take me back there but I know it will never going to happen and all that I have is everything that is in front of me now. That you have been on a very right hand, and I should be focused on my own business.

I'm lost at words now. I guess you were having a very hard time, were you? I wish I could be a better sister or friend. I wish you could share your stories to me, not avoiding me for the so-called gap of age. I was so arrogant to ignore the idea of being growing up and living life in teen ages.

I'm sorry. And I mean it. Thank you for the enlightenment anyway. And I miss you