At some point, our form of communication change from talking directly, to text messaging, to likes on instagram and facebook. It was a way to say or to perceive that someone has been a part of our life and while they might still part of it, their position had moved further from the center.
Sometimes, it is hard to believe that I did this last year. Went with a friend to a land faraway in 3-days journey. My friend used up all of her driving skill, going everywhere in a motorcycle, visiting more beach in 3 days than I did for my whole life, and going back home in a first flight on my own.
Around December last year, I found a tutorial in youtube on how to stitch your own book. I've been making three ever since because it's totally cheaper, it can lay flat, and it's fully customize-able, from the paper I use to how I would like to do with the cover. For the three book that I made, I use a cereal box and glued it to the first page of the book (you can also stitch it but I found it not as sturdy).
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| my books, and their bare spine and cover |
I love this kind of book cover in particular because it is reusable. A friend of mine gave me a notebook with this kind of cover and I currently use the cover as my passport cover. I can also make another notebook in similar size and use the cover for that. I thought that it doesn't require a lot of thought when making the pattern and not many parts to sew.
So, yesterday morning, I sit quietly on my bed and do the whole thing, and 3 to 4 hours later, my book is finally fabric-covered! Yes it took a long time, but I totally satisfied with the end result.
Hi! It's already Ramadhan!
To make a 'No Sleep after Sahur' plan a success, I try to do everything I can right after Subuh. This morning, I was making a Travel Keepsake, inspired by @nazuragulfira on instagram (also her tutorial here). She said it was a cheap way to keep her keepsake from traveling. Isn't that perfect for me? I have this tendency to not throwing things right away; maps, tickets, receipt, postcards I won't use, random cards, even long time ago, clothes label. Those are things I admit are unnecessary-but-memorable-though-I-don't-spend-time-admiring-them-but-it's-just-hard-to-throw-it-away.
This is also perfect because I'm currently throwing things out of my room. So, the memory remains and the rest are leaving (and my room is ready for more things (oh, cycle)).
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I don't actually remember, but I think my first time reading the book (the indonesian version) was when I was on junior high school. At that time, I was an avid reader and started to buy my own novels. My collection pretty much starting from that time.
Princess Diaries gets on me pretty fast (obviously) because of its fairy-tale-ish story of an ordinary american girl suddenly being a royal princess of a small country. Of course she also had her own (seemingly petty for a twenty-something me) problems about her bad hair, her too-tall body, her too-big feet, her unspoken crush, and her genius best friend. I'm seeing the stories differently to when I was in junior high school. I never thought that Lilly is annoying or Mia is way too dramatic back then. Also the culture was too different, at least from what I had experiencing.
The best thing is that it was written in a diary format. I wasn't a diary writer in my junior high, but now, that I have started the habit in high school, I fall in love (all over again) and fully understanding about Mia's rambling in her diaries (also fully acknowledge her habit of writing in classes because I did that too, most of the time).
But of course I'm not going to review the book here (See, I'm pretty expert in the rambling area). I'm actually going to quote one of my favorite part from the fourth book, Princess in Waiting. This was when she already going out with Michael Moscovitz, and admitting that she might be different to other people.
She went :
But whatever, I could deal with that. I am totally used to being the only person I know who sits through Empire Records every time it comes on TBS and who thinks it is one of the best movie ever made - after Star Wars and Dirty Dancing and Say Anything and Pretty Woman, of course. Oh, and Tremors and Twister.
I am content to keep the fact that I must watch the Miss American Pageant every single year without fail secret, even though I know it is degrading to women, and not a scholarship fund, considering no one bigger than a size ten ever gets into it.
I mean, I know these things about myself. It is just the way I am, and though I have tried to improve myself by watching award-winning movies such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Gladiator, I don't know, I just don't like them. Everybody dies at the end and besides if there's not dancing or explosions, it is very hard for me to pay attention.
So okay, I'm trying to accept these things about myself. They are just the way I am. Like, I am good at English class and not so good at Algebra. Whatever.
Being grateful, like most things, is easier said than done. When I still writing a daily journal, I remember someone inspired me to make a list of things I am grateful of, daily. As a reminder to be grateful, and to acknowledge that life is actually that beautiful when you don't think so hard.
Turns out it is hard to keep a list of things I feel grateful of for a long time. It's almost as hard as to be grateful all the time. I'm not sure if this is even related (or it is just me looking for any chance to quote Cumberbatch :|), but Cumberbatch's character in The Immitation Game, Alan Turing, said : "Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good,". I think being ungrateful and blaming everything else for things that happen feels that way too. Isn't it easier to put blame on someone else for a bad result than to count the effort to achieve the result? After all, the acceptance stage comes last. The hurt of being last in a race denies the ability to afford a decent running shoes. The failure to get a scholarship denies the thankful feeling that at the very least, I can pass the TOEFL score required for application (that means a decent ability to communicating in english that is greatly useful, I mean, look at the bright side!).
I'm writing this, not as a super grateful person, I have written about being grateful before, in this blog, five years ago, and I don't think that I apply my writings for the rest of my college life thoroughly. Being grateful is a major thing for me, I suppose. So, when I stumble upon this writing that leads me into an article about reverse bucket list, I feel like this actually has the same idea about being grateful.
I'm jotting down the list right now in my journal. After all what happened in the last 6 months, I'm pretty sure that I need to count on my blessing so that I don't fall into a depressing situation of blaming myself for things. I need to count on my blessing even though I'm pretty sure that I will never be done with that because even the fact of me breathing, typing these words right now, thinking of my (still-kind-of-blurry-but-it's-alright-I-will-make-it) future, is a blessing itself. I need to count on my blessing, to make this reverse bucket list, to be grateful of who I am, and to learn from my mistakes of the past years.
Wish me luck on that ;)
last, to quote on a blogpost written by my friend :
Maka nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan? Manusia itu, saking sering lupa untuk bersyukur, sampai-sampai Allah ingatkan berkali-kali dalam QS. Ar-Rahman.Fabiayyi aalaa irobbikumaa tukadzibaan..
Maafkan kami ya Allah, hamba-Mu yang sering lalai dari mensyukuri nikmat-Mu..
Tapi, Maha Baiknya Allah adalah, selama kematian belum menjemput, kesempatan itu akan selalu ada. Masih ada kesempatan untuk perbaikan diri, bukan? Mari sama-sama menjadi pengingat satu sama lain agar senantiasa beryukur.. :)
