The last one and a half months has been a roller coaster month for me. I've been feeling like crying for like, twice a day in the first couple weeks. I'm basically a crybaby so it was not new, but it strikes me that I'm not strong enough to face the challenge. I have this determination before everything starts to change and then when I'm on it, it was too hard.

But then, you know, it's actually a matter of ourselves. Satu bulan pertama, jujur saja, saya dicekoki berbagai macam hal. Not all good things. Mostly things that weaken the determination I had build in the beginning. Maka teman-teman kemudian menjadi tempat untuk berkeluh kesah. Kayanya temen yang saya ceritain soal ngeselinnya perpindahan fase ini banyak banget dan hampir semua bilang, "if it's not worth it then leave it,"

In the middle of that, I met a good friend of mine who said to me that, "you are actually pretty good in adapting, and anyway, rather than blaming people for doing what they have done, isn't it better to see why did they do that," I couldn't agree more to it. Because the more you listen, the more you understand, then the more chance you get to avoid specific circumstances.

And to quote finka, "Ada juga yang memang sengaja mencari makna itu sendiri dengan perjalanan yang ia pilih,".

Ada yang salah kalau menganggap there's a fault in our stars. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that we don't meet people for nothing. Paling minimal adalah bisa bersyukur saat melihat orang dengan attitude ngeselin karena alhamdulillah kita pernah melihat itu, kita tidak suka dengan itu, dan diingatkan untuk tidak jadi orang seperti itu.

Isn't life too short to blame people for our circumstances?

...and when you feel like giving up, remember why you hold on for so long to be there in the first place...

and at the end, I choose to stay. And understanding has never been so endearing.