unsaid but hopefully well written

a new year's eve has never meant a lot to me.
last year I watched Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire while people were doing the countdown.
this year I decided to watch Spiderman 3 because I'm in love with Harry Osborn gahahahahahaha

I don't think I have to do anything different for new year's eve. Going to somewhere else where everybody are doing the celebration is not my choice. I'm not against them, but I think there is something more important about new year, and it's not only about the change of the year, the celebration of it, the new resolution...

no. New year means we have again passed another past year, we are getting closer to an end

it's scientifically proven that this universe does not last for ever

New year means I have left a year-chance to be a better person and I will face another chance to be one.

So, when the new year's eve means nothing personal to me, then a new year means a lot for me. Another chance to change...


happy holiday, fellas.

I missed my high school friends so BAAAAAAD!
although we have a photo where we can post anything (even nonsense comments) on facebook it doenst feel the same
although we chat or send SMS still it doesnt feel the same
although it is holiday I know I can not meet all of them in an occassion eventhough I forced myself to go to Bandung
although I missed the times when we were together I know I can not turn back the time

home is not where you lived but it's where they understand you - christian morgersterm

I said that a friend is not a person who always want to know about you. A friend is someone who understands you and always be there for you whenever you need. however far away you separated

I decided to change my template
well, I will add some of my favorite things later

as I've promised, I'll share about my favorite thing... this one is a movie based from a book. I've read the book (if I'm not mistaken) after I watched the movie for the first time and until now, this is still one of my favorite movie ever.

I'm not watching movie as much as I read books but I really like this one. I have watched this maybe for 5 times and never get bored. I love every part of the chocolate factory it's amazing! Later on, I realize that Tim Burton was taking part in the movie. no wonder the movie is soooo WONDERFUL :)

actually, I wish the factory is real


happy holiday, fellaaaaaas!

heeeeey I've been doing this recently : BLOGWALKING. hahahahaha

tadi baca DUA blog orang (satu punya temen, satu lagi punya temen ade gue) terus tulisan di blog mereka ituu.. soal yg romantis-romantis melulu dah. ckckckck. no offense ya. I've wrote about that subject too actually, tapi biasanya I prefer to keep that on my diary :) kadang pengen deh ngejadiin blog itu tempat curhat beneran.. tapi ga tau males juga nulis soal hal-hal private. hihihi

people have their own choices anywaaay

oh yaaa kawan. jangan lupa berkunjung ke PAMERAN ARSITEKTUR INTERIOR UNIVERSITAS INDONESIA ANGKATAN '09 yaaaaa di Lobby FTUI starts 10.00 am to 3.00 pm. yang ini HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. oke oke banget soalnya. gue udah kesana hari ini. too bad I forgot to bring my camera (as I always do anyway) so I can't take pictures... maybe I can share some later

hmm, about the list of my favorite things, I will write about that later. I'm busy listening too hit the lights and watching bambino! hihihi

have a nice LONG HOLIDAAAAAAAY fellas!

sebagai mahasiswi di Universitas Indonesia (zzzzzzzt!), gue harus mengakses SIAK-NG untuk melihat nilai gue. dan beginilah hasilnya -maaf ya gambarnya jelek :



setelah itu dengan bahagia gue ganti status FB menjadi :


lalu kakak kelas gue di SMA yang sekarang kuliah di arsitektur juga tapi beda univ ngomen seperti ini ke gue :


lalu gue bertanya-tanya siapakah Tadao Ando inii? well I went googling right after reading the comment and found out that Tadao Ando is an architect from Japan who had never formally being in an architecture school! WOW! that's amazing. komentar gue :


hihihihi..
for those readers who want to be an architect someday, architecture school is indeed a hard phase. but this guy had prove that being an architect is something that is possible!

SMSan sama Ina is another favorite thing of mine. Ina adalah temen SD gue yang pas SD malah nggak gue kenal sebenernya. I have mentioned about her in this post actually.

text messaging session with Ina is actually my stress reliever recently. I can reply hers on the way I wanted to ^^

I've posted some example here. but this is another example:

fitri : Ngg. ini ud d jalan plg. tmen gw curhat dadakn td jd gw tmenin. cerita lgkpny bsk dah..
ina : okh.okay lah. sip dah. ho hi ho ha ha teknik plg gaya alalahh
fitri : sip na. arsitektuur.. ars ars ars
ina : metal! hua! metal metal metal!
fitri : naaa..mdh2n nyokap gw kg marah dah gw br plg. tekiim. tekim tekim tekim
ina : yaudah. blg aja ada urusan keluarga. mesin, ah cpek ah

yah pokoknya begitulah.

oh iya gw menemukan lines bagus dari TV kemaren pas mindah-mindahin channel nggak taunya kepindah ke Naruto. trus gue dapet lines ini :

Naruto : sepertinya aku tidak mungkin membawa Sasuke kembali saat ini karena ia telah menjadi sangat kuat
Kakashi : Kau tinggal menjadi lebih kuat lagi saja, kan?

I'm not a big fan of Naruto. I don't even read the comic or understand the plot. but listening to those lines, well... I just like it!

another line from the song "Someday" by John Legend. This song has been my favorite ever since I knew the lyrics. This is my favorite line :

...for today/My eyes are open/...

I actually found another lines from Grey's Anatomy. FYI, watching Grey's Anatomy is my mother's recent hobby. I pick these lines when she was watching one of the episode of GA.

we only see what we wanna see
and believe what we want to believe
and it works
we lie to ourselves so much
that after a while
the lie start to seem like the truth
we deny so much
that we can recognize the truth
right in front of our faces

well that happens so many times to me. happy holiday theeeeeeeeeen!

hmm.. sebenernya hari ini gue nggak libur. harus ke kampus. kan pameran hari terakhir. Yes, I supposed to leave the house at 8.15, but I want to have an escape.

last night I was writing on my diary and found out that I already solve my problem just before I fall asleep. alhamdulillaaaaaah =D

I want to share about another favorite things of mine. I love rain. I know, everybody loves rain. Suka bau rumput/tanah pas lagi hujan, suka suasana mendungnya, suka semuanya. Banyaaaak banget orang yang suka hujan. Malah gue udah nemu DUA novel yang isinya tentang orang yang suka hujan.

Hujan bikin gue terlalu melankolis sebenernya. But I like it. The cold feeling, the drops of water out of nowhere, the gray sky. Kadang-kadang gue ngeliatin aja hujannya. Bagus juga kalo hujan gue nggak usah kemana-mana. Berarti gue bisa menikmati me-time di rumah.

Hujan juga bikin tidur pulas kan kawan-kawan. That's another reason ^^

I always want to build my own home with a balcony where I can spend time watching the rain while drinking a big cup of hot chocolate or chocolate milk and listening to my favorite songs from my iPod. Thank God You brought me here to an architecture department!



see ya fellas. please fill in the chat box, hihihi... I'm all new for that thing!

kemaren abis posting kan gue nulis buku harian sambil dengerin iPod (my favorite thing to do before sleep ^^. cobain deh. enak sekali rasanyaaaa) terus walaupun sudah di shuffle si lagunya sangat membangun suasana sekali. menyebalkaaaan

hmm terus baca-baca buku harian juga. ini bukan kemaren malem sih. biasanya abis nulis gue akan baca tulisan-tulisan gue yang lama. kadang-kadang buku harian gue yang lama juga. suka lucu sendiri kalo liat apa yang udah gue tulis. hihihi. kadang-kadang gue rajin banget nyalinin sms gue sama temen gila gue yang satu fakultas tapi beda jurusan. soalnya sms kami suka aneh-aneh isinya. misalnya, saling ngancem :

fitri : ih sumpah ya, pgn gw lempar pake glue gun lo?
ina : lempar aja. gw bales pake power glue ke mata lo.
fitri : apaan sih lo ngancem2gw kya anak kecil

atau

ina : sekarang gw maen the sims. geblek bgt ya
fi3 : iya geblek. mendingan maen biotronic d fb

hmm ga penting banget ya. tapi menyenangkan loh. dan bikin otak refresh. yaiyalah. kalo gue udah mumet mikirin tugas kuliah yang banyak dan kayanya ga selesai-selesai tiba-tiba ina sms gue jadi gue harus mikir balesan yang sama ngeyel dan anehnya dengan isi sms dari dia.

gw juga pernah copas chatting gue sama orang ke buku harian. hmm kalo yang ini mendingan ga usah diceritain. hihihi. tapi bener yaa baca-baca chat history itu suka lucu loh. kadang-kadang lo ketawa lagi atau mungkin semangat lagi. kayak waktu gue baca chat gue dan fulki (yang udah gue copas juga disini) tapi bisa juga sedih lagi sih. tergantung chatnya sama siapa.

buku harian gue sekarang ada sembilan. gue mulai nulis sejak kelas 1 SMA, soalnya waktu itu kan gue SMA di Bandung. I've got no one to share jadi yaa sudahlah gue nulis buku harian aja deh. eh keterusan sampe sekarang. banyak banget orang yang bilang nulis buku harian udah ngga jaman. kebanyakan sih yang penasaran sama isinya. padahal gue orangnya bocor banget dah semuanya gue ceritain. kayak nggak ada gunanya juga nulis di buku lagi. ada juga yang nanya buku harian lo udah 9 isinya apa aja?

iya sih kayanya udah nggak jaman nulis buku harian. tapi buat gue, writing on my diary is just another way to escape from the world. kalo lagi pengen sendirian, kalo lagi pengen ngasihtau apa yang sebenernya ada di hati gue, I prefer to write it down. Makanya setelah dibaca lagi buku harian gue kok isinya... sampah banget ya? hehehe.. banyak banget hal yang kadang nggak penting tapi memorable buat gue. things you'll easily forget padahal sebenanya lo akan sangat kangen dengan masa-masa itu. that's why i write things in details.

diary writing is one of my favorite things. I'll share more of my favorite things along my holiday. MY LONG HOLIDAAAY ^^

sekarang waktunya nonton delightful girl chun hyaaaang!

I will have a LOOOOONG HOLIDAY. starts from NOW ON untul January 24th!!!!!

asikk, long holiday means :

1. no calculus (I hope I'm not going to have a make-up class on the next holiday)
2. no mpkt
3. movies
4. long sleep time
5. nothing to write on my diaries (bad)
6. not meeting a particular person (good)

anyway, I'm going to post about my department's exhibition later.



I was reading one of my favorite blog by one of my junior high school friend. She posted some videos from Grey's Anatomy (my mother's favorite TV show. the one that made her had ever asked me to go to the faculty of medicine, ok this is out of topic). And the scenes were a bit heart-rending.

Next thing that is popped in my head is :

Fitri, you shouldn't watch this. NOOOO. YOU'LL BE AFFECTED BY THESE SCENES!

which is true.
I hate the feeling when I feel like I have done a thing but the truth is I haven't.
This is what happens to me. Right now.

well, time to go to sleep. I have to write on my diary too anyway ^^

HAPPY HOLIDAAAAY EVERYBODY!

ars '09 bakalan bikin pameran di studio tanggal 14-18 Desember nanti loooh.. senangnyaaa

basically, gue emang selalu seneng kalo ada acara begini. capek sih, tapi kalo orang sampe seneng banget pas acaranya berlangsung capenya tuh langsung ilang deeh ^^. another reasong : being busy makes me forget about anything I'd like to forget for a while (except when the only thing you want to forget always be around you. it's another case)

too bad I can't share any pictures here. I forgot to bring my camera this morning. Maybe I will post some pictures from the exhibition on my upcoming post.

hmm can't wait for MONDAAAAY!

nb. for those who read, please come to the exhibition =D it's highly recommended!

i hate myself for being over sensitive.. hmm ga ngerti cuman gue doang atau semua orang juga kadang-kadang merasa seperti gue sekarang. pernah nggak sih ngerasa kalo elo melakukan hal yang benar untuk diri lo sendiri, tapi terus lo nyesel karena mikir itu egois, hal yang lo lakuin itu mungkin banget nyakitin orang lain.

lebih sebel lagi sama diri lo sendiri karena elo menyesali hal yang benar yang udah lo lakuin. oke, sounds complicated, maybe I'm not good in words order but that's the point.

gue sedang merasa seperti itu belakangan ini. I feel so curious about something, but I don't think it is a good thing to find out about it. I end up hurting myself, I know. Tapi emang bener ya, doing good deeds is much more dofficult than to think about it. Gue bisa aja tahu apa yang harusnya gue lakukan tapi gue malah melanggar hal-hal yang udah gue ketahui itu.

Lebih parah lagi kalo gue melakukan hal yang benar, tapi gue nyesel karena gue malah ngelakuin hal yang benar itu. It makes me sick of myself. Gue akan sejuta kali lebih kesel sama diri gue sendiri, karena menyesali hal yang benar yang sudah gue lakukan, ya, yang udah gue sebutin sebelumnya.

Kadang-kadang gue merasa lebih baik menjadi orang yang ignorant sekalian daripada over sensitive. Things you don't know won't hurt you, right? In my case, things I don't know don't hurt me as well, but things that I know hurts me more. Semuanya aja dimasukkin ke hati. Ada yang nggak negor sedikit langsung ngerasa orangnya lagi sebel sama gue. Ada orang yang lagi bad mood juga langsung mikir kalo marahnya itu PASTI karena gue. PASTI ada hal yang udah gue lakuin yang nyakitin hati orang lain.

Gue bukan orang yang terlalu straight-forward kalo menyangkut masalah seperti ini. Yes, another things to regret. I tend to keep all in my heart. Masalahnya kalo udah kebanyakan rasanya gue pengen meledak. Yes it hurts. I know it hurts, but I keep on doing it.

Stupid? Yes. I do A LOT of stupid things anyway, satu tindakan stupid lainnya harusnya nggak bikin gue menderita.

harusnya. Tapi balik lagi, karena gue adalah orang yang over-sensitive, pada akhirnya gue akan merasa jadi orang yang paling menderita sedunia. Lalu gue akan menyalahkan orang-orang. Then I'm blaming myself for blaming other person for the misery.

Lalu keulang lagi dan keulang lagi.

capek ya.. hmm, capeeeeeek sampe kesel.

linkin park - leave out all the rest

forgetting all the hurts inside you've learned to hide so well
pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

yellowcard - lights and sound

Smile big for everyone
even when you know what they've done
they gave you the end but not how to start
not how to build how to tear it apart

yellowcard - light up the sky

you're making a choice to live like this

michelle branch - everywhere

so tell me do you see me?

avril lavigne - why

it's not supposed to feel this way

yellow card - fighting

said I'm okay but I know how to lie