Friday, January 19, 2018

Starting a Journal

The initial title was : "Starting a Journal (or Bullet Journal, or A Meal Planner, or A Planner, or A Weekly To-Do List Even Though I Have Once Told Myself I won't Start Another)". And we will get into that in a bit.

I'm not that good with longtime planning. I mostly goes with the flow and when I have something I want to achieve throughout the year, I will just make my plan around that time. I was good with daily to do list too (when I was at the office) that I make every morning before I start working, but have never keep a dedicated book for yearly planner as long as I remember. 

But in early December, I impulsively bought a notebook for myself. I was on a (very long) train trip to meet my friend in Serpong (yes, that is in the other side of the world from where I live now (sigh)), and just recently moving out from my parents' house, and my husband just bought me a stove (actually that's the initial trigger) and so I began to 'cook' dishes for our dinner and breakfast. Since my cooking vocabulary is limited (and even more limited because we haven't bought a refrigerator yet, so frozen foods are crossed out of my list) I need to write what meal we have had so I can make some variation and not repeating the meal every several days.

I arrived early, so I decided that I will go to the bookstore on the mall and bought several pens for work (aren't I having a good job in which I still need to have colorful pens? yay!). And while I was on it, why didn't I bought a notebook too? I thought. That's how I finally bought my notebook.

I have never bought a yearly or monthly or weekly planner even though I have thought about it because I'm not very sure if I can committed to it and I don't think a pre-made planner is suitable for me. And when I found out about bullet journal, I was actually buying myself a grid notebook (but actually never really understand the system until several days ago after watching this) and it wasn't work for me either at that time. Another reason was because I was once a diary writer, and when I write a diary, I literally write everything in chronological time. I stopped, first because I hardly write anymore in the uni and second, I found out that there are feelings I don't want to re-visit in the future, so even though it's hard, even though sometimes I had this urge to write, I hold myself from having another journal (or anything remotely close to paper in which I can write private things into)(fyuh).

So when I was buying the notebook, I told myself that I only wanted to make a meal planner table and maybe write on some recipes on it. But of course I ended up having a weekly table and somehow added a tracker for the month. I also watched a whole lot of bullet journal videos, and found out that you can basically suit the planner to your needs (like adding a shopping list, reading list, etc. which in original bullet journal, you call a collection, and even omit systems you find it hard to use and that's why I can't quite call my notebook as a bullet journal). I have plan to write about the notebook in the blog if this system works for me in several months (maybe around April or May) and I'm totally excited to see will this system still work until then.

Cheers for a good (and relatively organized) year ahead :)

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2017 : Traveling and Traveling in 2018

Have I told you that my mother actually banned me from traveling?

Ever since I left for Malaysia in 2015, she already against me traveling solo, or traveling with friends. She didn't really like me going somewhere new only with friends and not my family who can be responsible about me. But since my father allowed me to go, she went on with his decision. That's how I travel to South Korea in 2016. After that, my mother always said that it is better for me not to go again unless I go with my brother or, a husband.

Instead of being against that rule, I actually fine with it. Maybe it was me knowing that she only want the best for me and trying to protect me from any harm, or my inner self who wanted to get married (lol), or maybe my true homebody self who surfaced. I am a homebody on my core and not actually going wasn't really an issue for me even though I still had my traveling bucket list.

On that condition, apparently I still had the chance visit Singapore with my brother and Yogyakarta with my friends in early 2017 and got myself several work trips to Bandung in the middle of the year. I actually had been offered to visit Brebes around November, but decline it because... I was just lazy (ha!)

My traveling in 2017 had been rather personal and slow and had this nice lingering feeling to it.

In 2018, now that I had a husband, I haven't really thought about traveling together. It was on the back of my mind, but with me still adjusting with life and all that, I'm still going to keep it on my mind for a while and not actually doing it. Unlike the couple of years ago, in which I had this personal goal to visit one country for every year, I think I don't have a set goals for traveling this year. Funny how I was always saying that I can't go before I got married or my brother come to his senses and agree to accompany me traveling last year as a reason on why I didn't plan any trip ahead. Now that I have one, I don't really want it... for now.

My other reason is because I think I need to be more careful about whatever that is allowed and not allowed in what I believe in. I have to admit that my current biggest concern about traveling is how to be responsible about what I eat overseas. Of course I can actually work my way around it, like looking for halal restaurant and bring my own instant food like abon, cup noodles, etc., but it's been on my mind for a while and I guess it plays a big part (aside from me going back to my root as a homebody).

Nevertheless, cheers for an unexpected journey in 2018 (if any :))!

Friday, December 29, 2017

2017 : Reading

In summary, my reading in 2017 has been... bleak (ha!).

I read less than 10 books this year with only 1 that is not fiction. I read more on wattpad though, from fanfiction to novels (and I can actually recommend some stories because it's actually good. Go check them out here : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6). I still haven't read my 3 non-fiction book from my Big Bad Wolf haul last year and there's another 1 I just bought last night, another 2 I order earlier this month and another one I have yet to buy but been wanting to buy since last year.

Looking back at my reading habit at this time of the year makes me realize that I haven't really enjoying reading like I used to. I was occupied with any other things (such as playing candy crush, the guilty pleasure of the year, and maybe the changes that happened in my life; changes of my working place, of my weekend agendas, of my life in general, and so on).

There's also this conversation between me and my friend not so long ago about my reading habit. I was informing her about my recent book purchase and suddenly, she said that she knows the reason on why I read a lot but still clueless about a lot of things. (This is her conclusion since I've been consulting her non-stop about cooking (she kindly video-called me while I was making a trip to the grocery and calling me the whole time I fried my first chicken :"))). She told me, "you read a lot, but you only read fiction (and YA at that), shouldn't you read something with more knowledge on it?"

And I was triggered for a second but then I remember that I've been on the phase in which I was ashamed of my choice of book. I was actually trying to read more articles and 'heavier' books, even non-fiction book (hence my #readingmorediversegenre challenge) to update me on current events and pretty much anything I can update to, but I just can't put my mind into it. And I feel like, I fail; this is just not me.

So I told her that I've read somewhere that I just need to read whatever that makes me happy eventhough other people don't understand why I would be happy reading that. It wasn't a justification, I'd categorize it as me embracing myself. That I don't have to like what everyone else's like and it's alright if people don't really like what I like. And it's not like I didn't gain anything from reading my choice of books. I realize that overtime, I get more perspective, insights, and vocabulary from reading what I like to read.

Just squeeze out the best out of everything, right?

That doesn't mean I don't want to broaden my perspective and knowledge through reading, though. Maybe I can finally start in 2018. But one thing I know, I wouldn't push myself and make me not enjoying a thing I've been doing since I was still a kid. See you and cheers for more reading in the future :).

Monday, December 18, 2017

2017 : Getting Married

At some point in my life, I have wanted a story of friend-turns-lover.
I have wanted to be liked back by someone I've been crushing on for so long.
I have wanted to have a story that people wants to have;
  of how I met my other half and spending the rest of my life with.

At some point in life, I have gone into details of wanting someone nerdy,
  someone who can bore me with facts. 
Someone who would like to travel with me, someone who is a lot taller than me,
  someone who would appreciate my love for reading cheesy young-adult books.
Someone who would study abroad, someone who is this and that.

At some point in my life, I know I don't want a complicated story of love and hate.
I know I don't want a cheesy declaration of love eventhough I do enjoy reading one.
I know I don't want days of being a crying mess or days of being overjoyed.
I know I'm not longing for a romantic surprise or grand gesture.
It's the small things that matters, I thought.

Little did I know that overtime, what I really want is someone
  who is faithful enough to knock on the door and ask for me to my father.
Little did I know that it involve a sense of relief
  even more than the feeling of deeply in love.

Little did I know, it has always been you.

To the one I never thought I would spend the rest of my life with, I'm learning you.

*Tarik napas panjang dulu karena bingung mulai dari mana*

Ini nih yang paaaaling unpredictable dari 2017 karena saya nggak punya rencana apa-apa soal menikah. Tahun ini, tahun depan, ya sedateng-datengnya jodohnya aja hehehe. Ternyata datangnya di penghujung tahun, right after I turn twenty something this year (tetep disensor).

Banyak yang nanya, kenalnya dari mana, gimana ceritanya, terus saya jawabnya bingung... because everything went so fast and I'm grateful for that. Berasa banget bagaimana dimudahkannya semua proses itu sama Allah, meskipun tetep ada dramanya dikit (terus kalo temen saya ada yang baca pada protes dibilang dramanya dikit), meskipun kerasanya surreal (dan masih sampai sekarang). Makanya itu nyeritain gimana prosesnya kayak jadi harus cerita panjang lebar soal saya yang yakin banget nggak mau pacaran sebelum nikah sejak dulu, temen saya yang ini, temen saya yang itu, ada acara ini acara itu.

Intinya adalah, nggak usah orang lain, saya sendiri suka lucu aja ternyata jodoh saya ya yang itu wakakaka. Yaelah, dari dulu ada di situ.

Tapi ya pelajarannya adalah, sebesar-besarnya usaha kita, seikhlas-ikhlasnya kita menerima, kalo nggak jodoh ya nggak jodoh aja. Sebaliknya, mau sekeukeuh itu kita menolak, kalo jodoh ya jodoh aja.

Duluuu banget waktu masih SMA pernah sih punya pikiran mau nikah abis lulus kuliah, karena bunda juga gitu sama ayah. Tapi kan kenyataannya nggak (yha), terus saya keburu jalan sana jalan sini, kerja ini, main ke situ, tiap ngomongin nikah yang kepikiran adalah nanti nyucinya gimana (hm, gimana ya nggak bisa nyuci (1)), tinggalnya di mana (2) dan aku kan minumnya air dingin kalau nggak punya kulkas sama gak bisa nyimpen makanan buat dimakan besok lagi gimana (3). Seriusan, itu doang yang ada di kepala saya sampe pas bunda nanya maunya yang kayak apa saya bilangnya mau yang bisa beliin kulkas sama mesin cuci.

Sekarang ternyata kekhawatiran saya itu kayak receh banget, hahaha. Karena menikah itu bukan tentang tinggal di mana atau nyucinya gimana, tapi tentang membentuk suatu generasi baru yang harus dididik dengan tanggung jawab. Ya tentang tinggal sama nyuci ya tetep ada, cuma, kalau menikahnya untuk ibadah, percayalah yang nanti memampukan, yang memberi rizki, ya Allah juga. Pasti cukup, Insya Allah cukup :).

Dulu juga saya pernah ngobrol sama temen, setelah dia punya anak, dia cerita how her life turn upside down and her life target change at once but she is happy with that. Dulu saya pikir, kalau saya nikah, saya akan tetap jadi saya, yang craving traveling (seru kali ya jalan-jalan berdua), yang suka nonton korea (hm), yang mager (kalo lapar terus di kamar ya udah tidur aja karena males keluar), dan lain-lain. Turns out, in these couple months, the changes come and I go with it. Saya ngerasa lebih santai menghadapi apa yang dihadirkan ke saya dan mindset nya jadi kayak ya sooner or later saya akan sampai tahap itu juga so, as long as it is for a good cause, why not sooner? (Ya ntar juga saya bakal harus masak buat anak, misalnya, why don't I start from right now?).

Gitu deh jadi ternyata menikah itu nggak serem (ini saya doang jangan-jangan). Alhamdulillah :)

See you in the next 2017 post!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

2017 : The Year of Fangirling

Can't believe it's December already!
Since 2017 is ending and it seems like I've been neglecting this blog for too long, I decided to write again. One post for at least 2 weeks! Let's hope I can liven up this blog again :)

To end 2017, I will write several things that happened to me in 2017. To sum it up, the year has been... unpredictable. There's a lot of changes happened in myself that I still need to adjust myself to this so-called new life :). Soo... let's begin with the first one.


Contrary to popular belief, if I think again, It's true that I'm a K-enthusiast, but I've never a huge fan.

My k-journey started around 2009, when my friend introduced me to Super Junior. She was a huge fan and even started earlier than I am. So at that moment, I have almost all Super Junior songs in my playlist, just because she is my only source. The songs are good though, but it actually leads to what I enjoy the most : Korean Variety Shows.

I didn't watch everything, only Running Man, which is very huge at that time, Appa Eodiga and We Got Married (because I was also watching dramas, one of them is She's Beautiful in which Yonghwa being the second lead. Apparently, she was also in WGM, so I watched that later).

One thing about K-varieties is that it is often leads to another so you don't really stop watching (ha!). For instance, I wasn't planning on continue watching WGM, but then I watched School 2013, so when School 2015 is out I also watched them. Then, one of the cast got casted in WGM, so I follow the episodes.

Then I was following a couple, and then Jung Joon Young came up as the cast. After a while, he appeared again in the new season of 2 Days 1 Night, so I watched 2D1N and ended up liking the whole show.

Or when there's just an urge to watch something, Roommate came up. It's pretty much the start of me liking EXO for a while (from Overdose to Call Me Baby (I have kinda lessen my attachment on Love Me Right)). And when the 2nd season is out, I came to like Jackson, so I search on Got7.

me being a fangirl in 2016 : taking a picture of Chanyeol's subway ad on my trip

And so everything leads to another that I can pretty much say that I know a tiny bits about several things, but never the whole thing. And it's actually a pretty handy knowledge that can be use as an ice breaker. I have several instances in which I was involved in conversation because apparently I and the other person have watched the same thing. That and Japanese Dramas.

At least until 2017.

I remember in the beginning of January, I was chatting with one of my friend and we were talking about k-pop. She said that she was really into Day6 lately. She told me that this group is currently on a project called EveryDay6 in which they release 2 songs every month. And they're a band. Oh wow, I told her, because we both like CN Blue when they first came out and I kinda curious on how this band would sounds like.

pic from here : x

Well they got me at the first line of ah wae :)

Upon liking Day6, I tried a lot of things, and that's actually a lot for me and kinda tiring. Since I knew them on their second year, I have a year and a half to backtrack; radio appearances, fancams (most important!!) V broadcasts, and once I started, I couldn't just stop. In early 2017, when I have a lot more free times than I am now, I was on my phone the whole time so I can catch up on them on time. Streaming radios, twitter updates and streaming V broadcasts almost every single week (since they're on promotion the whole year, so there are 1 scheduled broadcast every week). No sub? No worries, I found out that people do some live translation on twitter.

It was exciting, really. I remember getting excited for a teaser week that leads to a release. In early 2017, I was waiting for 12 KST so that I can catch the teaser and tweet about it and reading exciting captions about that (usually) 1 single (or 2 at most) photo. Trust me you can actually spazzing for 1 photo in 1 hour minimum. You still can go on, though.

Getting your name or comments read by the artist is also heart-warming ♡. I have said already that I tried a lot of things, fangirling related, this year. So once, on their broadcast, I spam a very silly comment about other member and apparently my bias read it. I believe it was my comment since I wrote that like more than 20 times and no one was commenting on the same thing before my bias read mine. But with the comment went so fast, I can't really check or prove it though, so as long as I think it is XD.

There's also a radio show in which my bias is hosting every week (in english, so I can listen to it real time (though if it was viewable, the urge to watch it is so big (and whyyy south korea? Why there's a thing called viewable radio?))). Every week, they will let the listener guess the one who topped their chart and the listeners are supposed to write the answer on the radio message board. To tell the truth, sometimes I enter my first name, and my second name, just to see whether my bias will say my name or not. And he did! (Eventhough there are also time in which I forget which name I enter earlier). And there's this one time, I even win the selfie and he said my name is a sick name.

Around May, I think the excitement has faded a little. But when they confirmed a fanmeeting in my country in August, I immediately find a friend to go to the concert and bought the ticket. Turns out, it was super lit. I write this part the day after the concert and watching my friend's fancams (me not functioning properly just get crazy with the crowds) and remembering that finally I've been part of the free hage crowd (fancam not mine but still, this is what freehage crowd is). SO LIT.

After the fanmeeting in August, I can pretty much say that I'm... done (?) with my fangirling life. I still follow them on social media, getting news from the twitter, listening to their releases, but then a major thing happened around September and so I decided to actually stop. Until... this week. LOL. No, but seriously, I can't say that I'm getting back to that fangirling phase, but it's still nice to listen to them every once in a while :). And yes, I just heard their new release. Check it out here.

In conclusion, being a fangirl is actually a lot of works. To be honest, even if I do wonder sometimes about just how much time I spend catching up with their schedule, releases, and sometimes being salty over a lot of things (side effect on being an international fangirl), I don't really regretting that phase of my life but I'm not getting into that anymore. Being a fangirl has been a fun ride :)

ps. just in case there's actually people who read and would want to actually check Day6, here are some links (#promoteam) (tip : Day6 are soooo much better live) : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9


(I actually write this back in August and completing it on December. Well, you can tell which part I did write back in August, right?).