That morning, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
I have started this blog in 2009, back then, a lot of personal story got published and I have several of them deleted by now (talking about erasing evidences of a younger version of me writing in cheesier style, haha). I was looking back on my archives and a lot of my early writings were about which drama or movie I have watched or wanted to watch. What was on my playlist, a lot about my high school friends, and my university life.
In recent years, I put more thoughts in my post and I don't post as frequently as I used to anymore. Part of it was because I was being more cautious about sharing my private life, and another was because I was kind of insecure as I read more and more blogs. Will my post worth enough to read? Is there any reader at all? And so on and so on. What started as something just for fun, become something I put a lot of insecure thought of. And it wasn't that fun anymore.
I read a lot of popular blogs told their reader in their blog post that to get a reader wasn't their initial intention. I know I was being salty, but they have reader anyway, while I wanted to get a reader and doesn't seem to have any (though I don't really know). I started to analyze everything, like, do I want my blog to be a travel blog? But I don't travel that often. Do I want it to be thoughtful, a collection of my thought? But were my two cents worth enough to read? Do I want it to be a review of books/movies/drama I have watched? But I can't review (the truth), just like my food was edible and inedible for me, books/movies/dramas are my style/not my style and no in between, so I can solely focus on that.
What should my blog be about?
I think and I think and I didn't seem to have anything worthy enough to post and ended up being salty because everyone else's life seems to be interesting and sometimes not that interesting but still, they post things.
Until finally, I came to this cliche realization that mine doesn't need to be like others'.
Mine can be a collage of my own life; be it random thoughts, snippet of my life, my current playlist, my stand on something, my travel notes, my DIY projects. Mine can be updated regularly, twice a week or once for every 2 months, but it is still mine anyway. I guess this is how I extending the meaning of loving myself, as blogging and my blog wasn't physically a part of me, but an extension of myself.
Mine are things unsaid but hopefully well written.
Cheers for more free-of-worry blogging session in the future :)