unsaid but hopefully well written

I was swiping through my instagram stories a couple of nights ago when I found that Emma from A Beautiful Mess had written a post about life lesson from her parents. I read that and couldn't agree more that, as she said, "the older I get, the more gratitude I feel toward my mom and dad,". Maybe because my point of view has change overtime. When I started to work, I have even more things to discussed with my mom and dad, and when I moved out, I feel like I grow even closer to my mother (I actually had this phase when it was awkward for me to have a talk with her and I really envy my sister who still kissed her goodnight sometimes, glad that it's not the case anymore).

I need to admit that my life right now isn't a breeze (there is some typhoon, just to add on the analogy, ha!), and even though I wish I had realize it earlier or in a better condition, I'm grateful enough that I had realize it now; the life lessons from my parents that surely had a part in shaping me up into what I am right now.

1. Do not afraid of people

In my early days of working in the office, I had really rough times adapting into working hours and responsibility. I remember that sunday, I was sick, and I need to be at the office because my work hasn't been finished and it was due on monday. I was crying (tbh, I am a crybaby who weep first, think later) and there was my mother sitting next to me. She wasn't really comforting me in a way I know (like patted me on the back or hugged me) but she said what I still remember until now, "what you are going to face tomorrow is people, just like you. Don't be afraid of people,".

That hits me hard because I know that at that time, I was crying because I was afraid that my boss would be mad at me. It's more about that than about me fail to keep the deadline and therefore, my responsibility. My mother taught me that I need to be brave to admit my fault and the consequences, but never to do so because I am afraid of a person and what he/she can do to me.

2. If you are not sure, ask

My father had years of working experience and this is what he had taught me whenever I was not feeling good about my working condition but didn't think that I have the right to ask. My father told me that when working, it is important to be professional and as clear as possible. If you are not sure about the terms, ask. If you are not agree to the condition, negotiate and leave, if you must.

For a person who find it's easier (and more comfortable) to accept and be understanding, I sometimes find it difficult to question things from those who had the upper hand. But then I realize that I would eventually, stand on my own and I need to face this kind of problem. It is a challenge for me even until now, but my father's examples and words had come in handy and add some bravery dose I need for my actions.

3. Be on time

One thing I learned about my parents are that they are always try to be on time. My father, for example, is a heavy sleeper (sure), but on his working days, he would went to work around the same time everyday. It was almost as if it was automatic for him to got up on the right time and preparing himself to work. I know that it was him being responsible, but nevertheless, it was a great example especially when I know that he would rather spend his free time staying at home (seriously, lol). He would even complain to me if he knew that I was running late for an appointment. The same goes to my mother.

Being late is still a problem for me and people around me, so it is a nice thing to know that my parents had set the example even before I know that it was a problem.

4. Going on with Life

Whenever I told my mother about things I'm currently facing (the ugly truth), she never blames anyone (as it was always my initial and automatic reaction, to find the one who is wrong). She taught me to choose to be kind, to understand that people might have their own struggle and that everything that comes to us was from Allah. Therefore, there must be some good lesson to learn from.

In a way, it was similar to that part from Ika Natassa's foreword in Antologi Rasa (my favorite book of her), "every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back,". It was like, why spend time to agonize over things that happened and wondering of what could have been while it is better to learn and let go (though no one say it was easy).

I kinda have a hard time putting this one into words, but I guess this is it.

Looking back, there are lots of examples my parents had set to make me and my siblings a better person (even the smallest things like do not litter and do not watch weird TV programmes - we had this rule when we were children when we weren't allowed to watch TV after maghrib time on school days and no soap-operas) by their standard. I'm just so lucky to have them as my parents regardless the time we spent arguing (because who doesn't?)

To tell you the truth, after writing those down, I am feeling even more grateful for them and it's like I have charged my battery to its fullest again. What a happiest feeling :).