unsaid but hopefully well written

I feel like screaming to one spesific person :

tolong menjauh sebentar saja

paling tidak sampai gue merasa sedikit lebih stabil dari saat ini. I know that the world doesn't just go around me, I'm not the only person in this world, but please do my favor this time.

I'm not blaming you for being in my mind, I feel grateful that you didn't even ask for things so I don't have to talk to you but I do miss it sometimes..

jadi tolong menjauh sebentar saja. Paling tidak sampai gue merasa sedikit lebih stabil dari saat ini

saya yakin bahwa saya adalah apa yang saya pikirkan. Karena itu saya memutuskan untuk menentukan batas versi saya sendiri mengenai hal-hal yang salah dan yang baik berdasarkan apa yang saya percayai. Tapi kemudian saya menemukan hal-hal yang bikin saya takut sendiri sama apa yang selama ini saya percayai.

saya takut mengingkari hal yang selama ini saya perjuangkan betul, yang selama ini saya anggap sebagai sesuatu yang paling benar.

Takut juga karena menemukan bahwa batas antara benar dan salah itu benar-benar tipis.

Karena itu saya jadi takut saya melebarkan batasan-batasan yang tadinya saya buat sendiri.

I believe, then I afraid.

Takut menjadi orang yang munafik, yang omongannya berkebalikan sama perbuatannya, takut menjadi seperti orang yang selama ini saya percaya...

I believe, then I afraid.

most of the times, it is easier to take everything as a compliment. in short, it is easier to take things easily... make things seem to be so fun. even though it doesn't seem to be worked every time i try to do it.

for example, my friend has once said to me : "Fit, gue seneng deh punya temen kayak lo. outlinenya bego tapi dalemnya pinter,"


well, I take that as a compliment. =D


as I said, taking things as a compliment is easier. Daripada ngeluh-ngeluh nggak jelas (as I usually done), mengambil sisi positif dari sesuatu, yang kedengarannya jelek sekalipun bisa jadi banyak hikmahnya. Dan yang jelas, bikin senyum jadi lebih mudah.

Kalo mau kuliah, bunda suka bilang : "Kakak, jangan cemberut, doong.."

biasanya gue suka menganggap itu angin lalu. Kadang gue merasa gue nggak cemberut, cuman bunda aja yang menganggapnya seperti itu. But when I take time to think, to take the positive part of her statement, it is not only about a smile on my face. It also about how I face things around me.

Cemberut dan judging things as negative itu dekat sekali. Bunda bukan cuman mau bikin gue tersenyum, tapi juga berpikiran positif terhadap segala sesuatu yang akan gue hadapi saat kuliah hari itu.

So, why don't you take people's statement as a compliment?

gak usah deh. makasih. udah pernah. gak enak rasanya


nooo I'm not talking about any kind of food. okay, if it was about a food I referred it to Sushi. I dislike sushi, eww.

I was talking about my recent feeling which I wasn't really sure about. No further explanation, I was decided to not talking about it anymore actually, it hurts to talk, even more hurt when I really feeling that way.

sabtu kemaren akhirnya aktif. hehehe. bisa ikutan panitia deeeeh, asik asik asik. Being busy is one of my favorite state since I can easily forget things that happened around me. Thank's God ^^

one funny quotation from my friend yesterday when we were talking about her brother.

me : cieeee kakak lo oke deeeh orasi gitu tadi
my friend : ih dia juga masih bingung tau, liat aja status FBnya
me : gue kan ga temenan. ga bisa liat status FBnya. trus kalo bingung ngapain orasi?
my friend : gatau deh. Hanya Tuhan dan tahu
me: hah?
my friend : eh maksudnya Hanya Tuhan dan dia yang tahu

I list my wish for tonight :

I wish everybody could hear, not listen

I wish I can control my temper

I wish the world could be a better place

I wish I can do good deeds and make my friends doing the same

I wish I can understand people thoroughly

I wish I can talk to one specific person

I wish I can forget that I was upset about tonight




andaikan minta maaf itu segampang menyalahkan orang, kita pasti akan lebih mudah untuk mendengar dan mengerti.

andaikan menahan emosi atau menahan diri untuk tidak berkeluh kesah itu semudah menjudge orang yang tidak kita sukai, kita pasti bisa menjadikan dunia tempat yang lebih baik.

pelajaran buat gue malam ini : nothing are going exactly the same as you hope for, but nobody said it was wrong. Differences make us learn to see things thoroughly, differences make us learn to forgive and forget. Differences make us learn to understand that you are not alone.

sometime you just know that the thing's not worth it but most of the time you just keep doing it

seperti contohnya copas chat history DAN nyalin ke buku harian.. it's something that doesn't worth anything but I keep on doing.. well, it seems like I was sooo pathetic this week


Anyway, I haven't started with my glass yet.. I hope I will tonight but it's going to be so late so maybe I'll start it tomorrow



lanjutannya stupid things (part 4), I finally apologize to the person.. (beneran deh ada kok catetannyaaaa hahaha ya udah sih gak usah dibahas)

I told my self that playing with fire is not safe

I told my self that this is something that is impossible from the very start

I almost make my self believe that I already get over him


this afternoon my friend told me that I can't even get my eyes off of him

and I found that I was telling lies to my self



geez