unsaid but hopefully well written

this is actually not me to write a lot in a day. I usually keep it in my head, avoid myself from blabbering too much about what's in my head. (It is her who posted a lot in a day =D). but well, I don't feel so good right now, so I write

so I write about... social networking I guess

thanks for those who write good things on their account. You don't know how much I appreciate that, even it was only a single sentence or maybe as long as a paragraph. You don't know how those words you make and type could be a cure for my mood swing, my mood booster.

You don't know how it feels like when you feel, only by reading the words, that there are people who are on your side, who have the same point of view with you, who will encourage you to moving on through the hard days.

Thanks for making a little curve in my face, I hope you can see that but if you don't well, I just let you know then.

And for someone who always get me confused about his intention in making statuses or comments, I promise you I won't ask for more, I won't looking back on your page and ended up being messed up. You have your own life so live it, I will try to live mine without disturbing yours. It's not like we were living in different worlds then or in the future, but sometimes you have to wait until you know the answer.

I have to wait until I know the answer or better, forgetting all the things =D

two top song (finally updating my playlist):

1. Raincoat - Kelly Sweet

And I've been sleeping in
For way too long
Mmm, wake up, enough's enough
Yeah, those days are gone

I'm gonna throw out my raincoat
Mmm, I hope it's all right
Gonna go find me a rainbow
And hang it up in the sky
Blues pass me by

2. Believer - Christina Milian

'Cause I'm a believer
I know that I can make it
No matter what they say
So I'm a believer
The future is now
It starts today

lagi butuh SANGAT BUTUH orang yang bisa diajak curhat untuk meluruskan pandangan dan memberi motivasi


kenapaaaaa sih gue ini? Apa yang gue lakuin nggak sesuai dengan apa yang ada di kepala gue. Bilang nggak aja susaaaah banget rasanya. kenapa? kenapaaa?

temen gue pernah bilang, "temenan itu sama siapa aja,"

pada kenyataannya, nggak banyak orang yang bisa seperti itu. Gue nggak nyaman dengan orang-orang yang tipenya beda jauh sama gue lalu gue bilang kalo gue nggak temenan sama dia. I guess that's fair enough.

lain soal kalo gue udah berteman lama terus belakangan ketauan kalo dia nggak segitu baiknya.

I don't ask for perfection, I ask for sincerity. That's the only thing I ask for a relationship called friendship.

jadi kalo sekarang ada seorang temen yang udah lama gue dengerin ceritanya dan ternyata dia malah nyakitin temen gue yang lain, men, I don't approve that.

yang gue percaya, kita emang nggak boleh temenan sama sembarangan orang karena berteman toh berarti dua hal, diwarnai atau mewarnai. Apa gue yang akan ikut seperti kebanyakan orang (which I hope I won't) atau gue yang mengajak mereka ke hal-hal yang menurut gue baik dan benar.

tapi kalo maksudnya mau bikin gue marahan sama temen gue yang lain, mau bikin hubungan temen gue dengan temennya yang lain kacau, please I really don't approve that one.

Apalagi kalo pake bohong segala

jangan pake alesan kalo setiap orang do make a mistake. Friends do mistake that are tolerable, not those that not.

please, behave yourself if you called yourself a friend. we really need a break now

entah kenapa sepertinya gue selalu terseret-seret ke dalam masalah temen gue ini. Padahal DEMI APAAAA gue udah bilang dari kemaren dari dulu malah, kalo gue nggak mau tau lagi. Gue beneran nggak mau tau lagi. Nggak ada hubungannya sama gue, kalo gue tau yang terjadi pastilah solidaritas antar mahasiswa arsitektur perempuan yang kasian sama temennya.

Gue nggak mau jadi orang yang seperti itu dan yang kejadian sama gue malah itu.

Masalahnya godaan untuk denger cerita secara lengkapnya akan sangat besar dan bertambah-tambah dengan keinginan untuk mengetahui kejadian selanjutnya. Gue ingin sekali tidak mau tahu tapi kayaknya semua orang bikin gue jadi tahu

(sekarang gue masuk tahap denial -__________-")

kemaren ngobrol sama temen, udah kesel to the max tuh tiba-tiba mikir, kok gue bisa segitu marahnya ya sama seseorang yang bahkan ngobrol sama orang itupun gue jarang, cuma karena cerita-cerita temen gue doang. Kok gue bisa ngejudge orang itu seakan-akan gue yang dijahatin langsung, bukan temen gue.

Temen gue bilang, "cewek itu emang lebih percaya sama omongan temennya sendiri tentang seseorang,"

tapi kan gue bukan cewek kebanyakan! <-- gue ngebayangin diri gue sendiri berjubah dan mengepalkan tangan *oh men! Ga penting! SKIP!

Dan hey, kenapa juga gue harus percaya sama omongan temen gue sendiri? Gue lebih penasaran lagi sama maksud si orang yang kita kira jahat itu ke temen-temen gue.

You know, the world will be more easier if I can resist the temptation to pay more attention into this kind of thing. The world WILL BE MUCH MORE EASIER

so make it happen, fit. don't get stuck. THIS IS NOT EVEN IMPORTANT

Udah lama banget mau nonton film ini, akhirnya kesampean juga setelah kemaren tayang di Trans TV, langsung tiga hari berturut-turut *nyengir lebar

bagi yang belum tahu, ini film lama, tapi gue baru nonton (telat seperti biasa) tapi gue udah lamaaaa banget pengen nonton dan ceritanya emang bagus banget!

inti ceritanya adalah tentang Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) seorang pembunuh bayaran dari organisasi rahasia badan intelejen pemerintah Amerika yang tiba-tiba kehilangan ingatannya mengenai jati dirinya. Ia lalu menghabiskan tiga tahun waktunya untuk mengungkap siapa dirinya sebenarnya sekaligus persekongkolan orang-orang yang menjerumuskan dirinya ke dalam dunia pembunuh bayaran tersebut.





Kenapa film ini harus ditonton menurut gue,

1. Ceritanya bagus dan nggak ngebosenin. You may find it hard to turn your head from the screen.
2. Great casts
3. Matt Damon di situ oke banget. meeen dia cool dan super smart.
4. Adegan aksinya entah kenapa gue suka banget. Yang bagian mereka tembak-tembakan, martial arts, maupun kejar-kejaran. Yang paling gue suka pas kejar-kejaran di Tangier, waktu agen Desh mau ngebunuh Nicky Parsons dan akhirnya Parsons ketemu sama Bourne. Gue juga suka adegan pas Bourne dan Ross berusaha ngehindarin tim yang mau ngebunuh mereka di stasiun kereta api.
   
5. Adegan favorit gue itu kayanya setiap Jason Bourne nelepon Pamela Landy. Kata-kata terakhirnya sebelum nelpon selalu nunjukkin kalo dia ada di dekat situ, but somehow invisible to everyone.
6. Shooting nya di banyak negara dan kantor intelejennya demi apaaa bikin gue pengen jadi detektif (kalo gue nggak jadi arsitek dan nggak perlu jadi pembunuh bayaran tentu saja. Badan intelejen kayak gitu pastinya the biggest stalker on earth =D)
   

Most of the scenes are my favorite, terutama karena semua scene nya nunjukkin kalo Jason Bourne ini bener-bener udah dilatih sampe saat amnesia pun instingnya adalah untuk bersembunyi dari musuh.

Dan entah kenapa di film ini Marie, cewek yang nolongin Jason Bourne (atau lebih tepat lagi pada awalnya terpaksa nolongin) di awal film, mati di film kedua, tragically. Kayak waktu Trinity mati pas nganterin Neo di The Matrix yang terakhir.

Again, this is a WORTH WATCHING movie. yes, berarti sekarang tinggal nonton Ocean's! *paling cepet liburan mendatang kalo ke Bandung karena mau dikasih DVDnya, makanya yang bapaknya kerja di trans tv, tolong minta diputerin dong. terimakasih yaaa =D

I was doing my paper when I remember that metro TV had a world cinema program and my father was accidentally left the TV on in that channel.

I was crying so hard because of this great movie


gue nggak nonton dari awal sih, tapi oke, jadi begini ceritanya.

Frankie is a nine years old boy, a deaf kid who is also a champion lip reader. He moved often with his family which is only his mom and his grandmother. He writes to his dad often. His dad sails throughout the world, at least that was shown by the world map and the flag attached on his room.

Actually, his father is not really sailing but his mother made him believe that. He actually writes a letter to his mother and his mother writes back, pretending that it was from his father. Until one day, a ship named Accra, the one that his father supposed to sail with, came to Glasgow.

One of his friend made him bet to gave all of his stamp collection if his father didn't come. He wrote it on his next letter and his mother try to find a man to be his father only for a day, she came to his friend and told her that she'll pay for it.

The friend of his mother found a man who was suitable for the job. They met and his mother tell this man about Frankie. She even gave her letters Frankie had wrote all this time. Finally, they made an agreement that he will came to the house and then went to watch the football game.

At the first time, the man didn't really want to do that. And when Frankie saw him, he wasn't really sure himself. But then this man gave Frankie a book he had ever wrote in one of his letter, Frankie immediately gave this man a hug and they went watch the football game.

Everything went smooth until this man told his mother that he wanted another day with Frankie. After some yelling, they finally agreed that they were going to met again the next day. So Frankie finally have another day with the man he thought as his father.

Meanwhile, the real father of Frankie was really sick and going to day in several days. He wanted to see Frankie but his mother told him that she won't let Frankie met him. But she told Frankie that he got a message from his father that he was really sick and that he wanted Frankie to know that he loved him so much. Frankie draw a figure of sea horse for his father and his mother gave it to a nurse, along with a photo of Frankie, to a nurse in the hospital. She made sure that Frankie's real father really see that before he died.

Finally Davey Morrisson died. Frankie knew about it and he looked really sad about that.

One day, his mother went to the post office to check if Frankie wrote another letter for his dad just in case. Surprisingly, he did. He wrote a lot about how much star he got at school and that he was on the football team now. At the end of the letter, he wrote that his real dad had died about two weeks ago and that he hope that the man that pretended to be his dad in two days will come again to see him.

So he actually had known about that all the time.

And I can't stop crying, this one just sooooo amazing.


These are just a few of my favorite lines and scene.

Lizzie (Frankie's mother) : Who the hell do you think you are? Who gave you the right to come in here and behave like this?
The Man : You did.

Nell (Frankie's grandmother) : He doesn't need lies in the letter. He needs flesh and blood

Frankie's letter to his father : If you can't see me, that's fine. I understand

The Man to Lizzie : You have to trust somebody someday

when the man was going to say goodbye to Frankie, Frankie asked him if he was coming back. The man said no. And then Frankie opened a box and took a small sculpture of sea horse out of the box. He gave that to the man and he insist that he have to take it. They did a pinkie swear. Oh men, I burst into tears.

another was when the man and Frankie were throwing stones to the lake. The man gave Frankie a stone that would bounce. Frankie didn't throw it, he kept it.

this is a WORTH A WATCH movie. what I like the most about the movie is :

1. This is an English movie. Englishmen and their accent are cool. I looooove it
2. The casts are brilliant (apart from their good looks, their act were excellent)
3. The emotions of the casts were brought the viewer (oh well, maybe it's just me) to the story. You don't have to write a lot of dialogues, you just need a bunch of brilliant actor and actress

oh men, maybe I'll download this movie from the internet. More about the movie, click here, here, and here.

pit, belom mulai mulai juga nih sejarahnya?
*nyengir lebar

maaf ya, sekarang saya mau ngerjain PA dulu. sejarah ntar maleman aja. besides, there is something I really want to write here...

I'm actually missing my old times when the assignment is not so full that my day will be so hectic, when I can watch two full episodes or more of Japanese drama 'Atashinchi no Danshi' or 'Hachimitsu to Clover', when I can go to the bathroom between classes or whenever I feel like in my former school, when I think that not studying in a free time is a sin...

yeah, that old times had gone already

entah kenapa tadi mikir, kapan yaaa kira-kira bisa bener-bener having quality time, bareng temen saya yang nun jauh di sana (lebay), hanging out, maybe watch some korean dramas, or more, talking about how's life have been these days...

I'm missing the old times so bad, but you know, no matter how hard I try, I could never turn back the time, so why don't I just stand up and go forward, maybe there will come another time to remember

"dan bahwa manusia hanya memperoleh apa yg diusahakannya." (Q.S. 53:39)

karena baca post ini saya jadi mikir. oh iya ya, yang selama ini saya pegang teguh dan ketahui itu kan saya harus mengembalikan apa-apa yang saya hadapi pada aturannya. pada pedomannya.

kuliah udah mulai nih. dan tentu saja hari-hari awal ini akan diisi dengan semangat-o-meter 100% dan janji untuk nggak nunda-nunda tugas. jujur aja, awal kuliah selalu terasa menyenangkan dan tugas-tugas yang ada selalu dianggap sebagai tantangan baru yang harus dilewati untuk mencapai ke tingkatan setelahnya.

sejujurnya saya lagi banyak pikiran. masih ngerasa kurang. sangaaaaaat kurang. mendadak takut apa-apa yang saya kerjakan selama ini nggak ada nilainya sama sekali. terus liat twit adik kelas yang di quote di atas.

dia ngetwit ayat al qur'an men. betapa jauhnya saya dari hal itu sekarang.

dan emang lagi pas banget keadaannya. saya merasa kurang, karena saya nggak usaha. oke mungkin kurang usaha. keadaan saya tidak akan berubah kalau saya sendiri tidak berusaha. jadi itu yang akan saya azzamkan pada diri saya sendiri. mengusahakan untuk yang terbaik yang saya bisa lakukan. mengusahakan agar apa-apa yang saya lakukan bernilai di mataNya, nggak cuma di mata makhlukNya, mengusahakan agar setiap usaha saya membawa saya ke arah ridhoNya.

saya yakin saya bisa. saya punya potensi yang sama seperti yang diberikanNya kepada semua ilmuwan fisika, semua arsitek terkenal, semua mujahid yang berjuang di jalanNya. yang membedakan adalah usaha yang saya lakukan.

karena yang membedakan manusia di hadapanNya bukan kaya miskin, profesinya, atau status sosialnya. Yang membedakan adalah amalannya.

Ya Allah, lindungilah aku dari godaan setan yang terkutuk dan jauhkanlah aku dari api neraka.

amin

karena sekarang ini, shaum ramadhan menurut saya agak bergeser makna menjadi tradisi tahunan, padahal ada tujuan dan target yang harus dikejar dari ramadhan. target taqwa. banyak yang ngerasa bahwa Ramadhan ya gitu-gitu aja, repeated routine satu tahun sekali.-fulki fadhila

Ramadhan berakhir dan yaaaa yang kemarin sebenernya gue benar-benar melenceng jauh dari target awal. Mana yang katanya mau khatam al qur'an dan tarawih penuh? mana yang katanya mau bikin ramadhan ini jadi waktunya untuk mengevaluasi diri?

malu sekali menyadari betapa bersemangatnya gue saat awal ramadhan, dan bagaimana semangat itu menguap seiring dengan kelelahan yang muncul akibat aktivitas yang menumpuk. Puasa bukan halangan untuk beribadah, sama sekali bukan, apalagi halangan untuk aktivitas lainnya. Kalau gue bisa keheranan ngeliat orang dengan gampangnya buka puasa kalo dia ngerasa sakit perut, gue harusnya heran sama diri gue sendiri yang mungkin pahala puasanya berkurang terus setiap harinya karena menunda-nunda dan nggak terbersit sekalipun keinginan yang sama seperti saat Ramadhan baru dimulai.

potongan yang gue ambil dari blogpost temen soal evaluasi ramadhannya menohok gue. Sangat menohok.

Apa gue melakukan hal yang sama dengan orang-orang lainnya, puasa menahan hawa nafsu dan lapar semata?

Kalo ya, apa gue masih ingin jadi orang yang sama 11 bulan ke depan (kalau gue dimampukan untuk menjalani 11 bulan ke depan itu)?

Apa gue mau menjadi orang yang biasa saja?