unsaid but hopefully well written

In the state of knowing, there's no turning back to not knowing. The only way is through. Because once I know about a thing, I still need to know more. It's like, after knowing the purpose of pencil (that is to help me write things), I need to learn how to write, and know exactly what I should write, otherwise the knowledge about the purpose of a pencil will be a waste.

In that state of knowing, I still need a constant reminder that the pencil's purpose is to help me write things. Because it's easy to use it for other things like holding someone's hair up in a bun, securing a door with a lost latch, and in the process, it's easy to broke the pencil and make it useless.

I know that maybe it's not fair to compare a complicated thing called life with a mere pencil, but I think life also works that way.

Once I know the purpose of life, I can't just turn back and being ignorant. There's something knocking inside me asking the million dollar question of, "now, what?".

Even in the state of knowing (or feeling like being in the state of knowing), I still need that constant reminder about the bigger life goals, the purpose, the aim of a creation.

But then again, how do you know that you know?*





*a lecturer in my university has once said this

At some point, our form of communication change from talking directly, to text messaging, to likes on instagram and facebook. It was a way to say or to perceive that someone has been a part of our life and while they might still part of it, their position had moved further from the center.

Sometimes, it is hard to believe that I did this last year. Went with a friend to a land faraway in 3-days journey. My friend used up all of her driving skill, going everywhere in a motorcycle, visiting more beach in 3 days than I did for my whole life, and going back home in a first flight on my own.

Around December last year, I found a tutorial in youtube on how to stitch your own book. I've been making three ever since because it's totally cheaper, it can lay flat, and it's fully customize-able, from the paper I use to how I would like to do with the cover. For the three book that I made, I use a cereal box and glued it to the first page of the book (you can also stitch it but I found it not as sturdy).

my books, and their bare spine and cover

I've been using my second book for a while and thought that the cover is kinda plain, so I draw things on it. But actually I've been wanting to make a fabric cover that can also cover the spine (because the downside of the book is it shows the stitch on the spine of the book, it could be unique of course, as long as you do the stitching part right).

I love this kind of book cover in particular because it is reusable. A friend of mine gave me a notebook with this kind of cover and I currently use the cover as my passport cover. I can also make another notebook in similar size and use the cover for that. I thought that it doesn't require a lot of thought when making the pattern and not many parts to sew.

So, yesterday morning, I sit quietly on my bed and do the whole thing, and 3 to 4 hours later, my book is finally fabric-covered! Yes it took a long time, but I totally satisfied with the end result.

But whatever, I could deal with that. I am totally used to being the only person I know who sits through Empire Records every time it comes on TBS and who thinks it is one of the best movie ever made - after Star Wars and Dirty Dancing and Say Anything and Pretty Woman, of course. Oh, and Tremors and Twister.

I am content to keep the fact that I must watch the Miss American Pageant every single year without fail secret, even though I know it is degrading to women, and not a scholarship fund, considering no one bigger than a size ten ever gets into it.

I mean, I know these things about myself. It is just the way I am, and though I have tried to improve myself by watching award-winning movies such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Gladiator, I don't know, I just don't like them. Everybody dies at the end and besides if there's not dancing or explosions, it is very hard for me to pay attention.

So okay, I'm trying to accept these things about myself. They are just the way I am. Like, I am good at English class and not so good at Algebra. Whatever. 

Maka nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan? Manusia itu, saking sering lupa untuk bersyukur, sampai-sampai Allah ingatkan berkali-kali dalam QS. Ar-Rahman.Fabiayyi aalaa irobbikumaa tukadzibaan..
Maafkan kami ya Allah, hamba-Mu yang sering lalai dari mensyukuri nikmat-Mu..
Tapi, Maha Baiknya Allah adalah, selama kematian belum menjemput, kesempatan itu akan selalu ada. Masih ada kesempatan untuk perbaikan diri, bukan? Mari sama-sama menjadi pengingat satu sama lain agar senantiasa beryukur.. :)

*Hmm kayanya taun ini bakalan sering nulis beginian nih (kedip kedip kode)*

My whole life changes in a very short time. Who knows what will happen to you in, let's say... the next three months.

You said that to me at the end of our random Sunday session last week. Yes, I agree. From a younger sister slash best friend slash crafting pal slash most effective mood booster, to a graceful bride to be. It seems like you've become more mature all of the sudden (while I was still that cheesiest girl you know so well, hehe).

It's been almost 9 years now since we first met. You were my first roommate, the one who loves my grandmother's cheese stick and also my diary-writer friend. We were instantly a best friend. And while you said that you adore my handwriting and colorful markers, I love your creativity and your always easy going personality.

When the news first reach me, I was happy. Truly, thoroughly. Verrrrrrrry happy. Overwhelmingly happy. I have always known that it's only a matter of time, I just never thought that it will be this fast. Of course I can't help myself being surprise knowing the husband-to-be (xixixi) but yes, we will all go through our own journey to find that one special person.

Earlier that night, and also around December last year, I got the chance to understand that everyone's journey should be different to each other. And instead of being envious or even negatively thinking about other's, the easiest way is to accept things that is meant to be for us (the bottom line is not to bother with other's and just be happy). Last Sunday, you gave me the similar closure. Thank you for that :) (also let's memorize your mother's quote-worthy phrases, just because...).

I will always pray for your happiness, and all the best to come to you. And the strength to overcome whatever, and the wisdom to see things, and the faith to keep on going.

I love you to the moon and back.

Back when I was traveling with some of my friends, one of them told me this :

"you only takes picture of things, don't you?"

It was kind of a conclusion after I refuse to pose silly for pictures for the last 2 days. I filled up my gallery with high rise building, the cities, and some stuff we found while walking, but rarely faces. Or, silly faces. While my friend asked me to take pictures of her standing in front of a huuuuge map on a wall, or mimicking people poses in pictures. She even asked me to do the twin towers pose while taking pictures in Petronas.

No, I think. I said that too; no. I don't take pictures like that.

But after a while, it kind of ruining the mood. I mean, it was only us, walking in a city we won't even coming back to very soon. Surrounded by people who didn't even know where we've come from. I manage to take some pictures that make all of us happier. It was fun, though it's kinda tiring. It was kind of photos I would look back, and smile at, thinking what we were doing back then.

My friend write this as a caption later on : You can always made money, but you can't always make memories.

Cliche, but those words make me think. If there should be another chance for me to go travel again, I think I should loosen up. I do cares about the high rise building, pretty tiles, and the light show on the cityscape, but those will hold memories of myself, not those with my friends. And it's nice to smile, looking at silly pictures with oh-so-unbelievable poses. It was part of making memories, all of it.

so, loosen up. Just a little bit, and find another happiness just around the corner.

DILARANG MENAMPAL (photo taken by finka)

"when traveling, you will meet people, you'll be together for some times, and then you'll part ways, knowing that you won't meet them ever again. But those were beautiful memories,"

*Snezana, the women from Serbia, wrote about us in her facebook page (tip : use google translate). Apparently, she's very famous in Serbia! I can't wait to have a copy of her book in English when it's published, thinking that I've met the author :)

Berangkat ke Melaka

Sesuai rencana, hari ketiga di Malaysia, kami pergi ke Melaka.

Going Melaka! (photo by finka)

Pagi-pagi, seperti hari sebelumnya, kami udah check out dari hostel. Kali ini sambil gotong-gotong backpack. Tujuannya ke Terminal Bersepadu Selatan, untuk naik bus jam 9 pagi. Terminalnya asik, loh, beneran kayak versi kecilnya bandara gitu. Jadi di tiketnya ditulis kami harus tunggu di pintu nomer berapa, nanti busnya berenti di situ.

tempat tunggu bus di lantai 1 terminal

Karena dateng agak mepet, kami nggak nunggu terlalu lama sampai akhirnya naik bus menuju ke Melaka.

Perjalanannya biasa aja, kayak lewat tol cipularang menuju Bandung. Waktu perjalanannya juga hampir sama. Sekitar jam 11, kami pun sampai di Terminal Melaka Sentral.

Di sini tadinya kami mau langsung beli tiket pulang ke KL, tapi karena takutnya nggak bisa sampe ke terminal sesuai waktunya, jadi kami memutuskan untuk beli tiket pas mau pulang aja. Nah, kami pun muter-muter dulu cari makan di terminal. Berdasarkan rekomendasi temennya Zahra yang orang Malaysia, katanya kami harus nyobain es batu campur. Jadi begitu liat ada yang jual, kami langsung pesen.

Turns out, it's a Malaysian version of Es Serut. Cuman porsinya banyak banget -,- (masih trauma sama kejadian malam sebelumnya, kami cuma pesen 2 porsi).

Es batu campur di melaka (photo by finka)

Setelah makan es batu campur, kami makan siang di kedai lainnya. Nggak mau kejadian bayar kemahalan, kami cari kedai yang keliatan harga menunya. Setelah ketemu, kami pun makan siang sambil melihat peta menuju hostel kami di Melaka.

tiket bus RM1 (photo by finka)

Dari terminal Melaka Sentral, kita bisa keliling Melaka dengan naik bus Panorama Melaka. Untuk rute bus dan jam operasinya bisa di lihat di website ini. Siang itu, karena tujuan kami check in di hostel, kami naik bus yang lewat Ocean Mall. Pemberhentian pertama dari terminal dan hanya sekitar 10 menit perjalanan. Nggak seperti di KL, beli tiket bus panorama melaka ini langsung ke supirnya begitu naik, tinggal sebut aja tujuannya ke mana.

Turun di Ocean Mall, kami lanjut jalan kaki ke hostel. Nggak terlalu sulit, tapi Melaka tengah hari panas banget-bangetan -,-. Rasanya bahagia banget pas akhirnya sampai ke hostel dan dapet kamar AC! (akhirnya ketemu AC).

Hostel yang kami gunakan di Melaka namanya Ringo's Foyer Guest House. Letaknya nggak terlalu jauh dari major attractionnya Melaka dan tempat menunggu bus menuju ke Melaka Sentral. Bersih dan host nya, Howard, super ramah. Pertama kali dateng, kami langsung dikenalin sama semua guest yang ada di common room. Ditunjukkin kamarnya ada di mana, and as a usual procedure, dikasitau tempat kamar mandi, dapur, dan basic rule lainnya.

I am more than willing to recommend the hostel, soalnya ini pengalaman nginep paling pengen bikin balik kalo menurut saya. Kalau mampir di Melaka, boleh banget langsung booking di sini :).

Selesai tur dan tanya-tanya soal major attraction di Melaka, saya, Finka, dan Zahra langsung balik ke kamar dan istirahat (sekalian ngadem). Mager banget rasanya keluar dengan cuaca sepanas itu. Kamu memutuskan untuk istirahat dan jalan-jalan mulai jam 4 sore.

Jalan-Jalan Sore di Melaka

Jam 4 sore, kami pun keluar dari hostel dan mulai jalan-jalan. Cuaca masih panas, walaupun agak mendingan karena kami udah nggak gotong-gotong tas lagi. Begitu keluar hostel, yang kerasa adalah : ini kotanya sepi bangettt. Selama kami jalan menuju ke Jonker Street, kami cuma berpas-pasan dengan beberapa pejalan kaki dan mobil. Nggak tau karena itu weekdays atau gimana, nggak keliatan banyak warga lokal di jalan.

Jalan dari hostel sekitar 15 menit (plus berenti dulu di salah satu kios barang handmade), kami pun sampai di Jonker Street. Di sini sepanjang jalan banyak toko oleh-oleh, kios makanan, dan beberapa temple yang bisa dikunjungi. Tips : Datanglah ke Melaka saat weekend supaya bisa liat Jonker Street Night Market. Karena kami datang weekdays, siang bolong pula, jadi cuma bisa liat-liat barang-barang lucu di pinggir jalan.


Setelah menyusuri Jonker Street sampai ujung dan menyeberangi Melaka River, sampailah kami di kompleks bangunan merah. Major attractionnya Melaka. Enaknya di Melaka adalah, major attraction nya (gereja, benteng, museum, dan bahkan beberapa pusat belanjanya) ada dalam walking distance. Kami nggak perlu naik kendaraan lagi untuk muter-muter Melaka. Nah, kalau misalnya dari Melaka Sentral pengen langsung ke area turis ini, bisa naik bus Panorama Melaka nomor 17. Nama haltenya Bangunan Merah, tapi pasti ngenalin lah, kalo naik bus dan tiba-tiba ada kompleks bangunan warnanya merah semua.

bangunan merah!

Kami foto-foto di sini lalu istirahat sebentar sebelum muter-muter lagi. Killing time sebelum naik Melaka River Cruise menjelang malam nanti (biar lebih cantik aja gitu). Kami melewati sebarisan bangunan museum, reruntuhan benteng portugis, dan mall (numpang kamar mandi). Lalu, karena mataharinya kayaknya masih di atas aja (karena waktu di Melaka beda 1 jam sama di Indonesia jadi jamnya udah sore langitnya belum -,-), kami pun memutuskan untuk makan malam di... McD (nggak ada menu nasi di McD Malaysia. Maksud hati mau makan proper meal (which means a plate of reasonable amount of rice and anything) jadinya malah makan burger).

Beres makan, kami jalan lagi ke tempat jual tiket Melaka River Cruise. Tiketnya RM 15 dan kapalnya cukup banyak jadwalnya. Untuk lengkapnya bisa dilihat di sini. Kami naik kapal sekitar jam setengah 6 sore (dan langitnya masih terang aja) yang menyusuri Melaka River. Ngelewatin area museum, apartemen tinggi, dan beberapa bangunan yang sudah kami kunjungi sebelumnya. Kita bisa liat bahwa river cruise ini digarap dengan serius karena bagian tepi sungai juga dipercantik dengan mural di dinding bangunan, promenade yang rimbun, dan lampu-lampu yang menyala di malam hari. Selama perjalanan pulang ke tempat awal, akan ada voice guide berbahasa melayu yang menjelaskan area-area yang kita lewati selama perjalanan.

mural on the wall! (langitnya masih terang aja jam 6 lewat)

Beres river cruise, waktunya pulang. Melaka rupanya lebih sepi lagi di malam hari. Padahal baru jam 8-an, loh. Kami rasanya lega banget begitu ngeliat lampu terang restoran yang letaknya tepat di bagian bawah hostel kami. Waktunya istirahat, besok, kami akan kembali lagi ke KL!

see you on #7

It's mixed feelings when I thought that maybe one friendly relationship has turns into something obligatory.

You know, those times when it wasn't the sum of unconscious effort anymore. When meeting each other started as an annoying discussion of who has no schedule and who always seems to be busy all the time. When buying souvenirs while traveling wasn't coming from a dear thought but an obligation. When it is even difficult to forgive, to take someone's bad nature for granted. To understand silently and to listen, not to reply.

This might be the result of the endless game of 'assign meaning to everything'. Maybe this is only me overthinking. Maybe what have I done wasn't a friendly trait either. Maybe us, just try to believe that this is one of those magical, effortless friendly relationship, when this was never it.

Mixed feelings, right?

Pulang dari Dataran Merdeka sebetulnya kami sudah lapar. Tapi kami berencana untuk solat Maghrib dulu baru keluar makan, supaya setelah beres makan bisa langsung packing untuk trip ke Melaka di hari ketiga.

Tapi Maghrib di KL ternyata super lama (padahal sebetulnya sama aja). Kira-kira jam 7 lewat baru masuk waktu Maghrib, akhirnya kami... seduh mi gelas sambil ngobrol sama teteh-teteh yang jaga hostelnya (dan nonton KBS Channel. Korea, korea everywhere). Si teteh itu ternyata orang Indonesia, cuma udah kelamaan tinggal di KL kayaknya, jadi ngomongnya udah nggak pake logat Indonesia lagi (plus lumayan jago bahasa inggris juga). Dia juga ngenalin kami ke orang lain yang tinggal di hostel dan akan ke Indonesia dalam waktu dekat.

Beres nyeduh pop mie (dan energen, emang lapar sih sebenernya) kami solat maghrib dan langsung berangkat ke tempat makan terdekat yang sudah kami lewati beberapa kali saat bulak-balik keluar hostel sejak hari pertama.

"Restorannya ada bismillah nya kok,"
"Halal sih, kayaknya,"
"Murah kali ya, makan di situ,"

Hari kedua di Kuala Lumpur, kami memutuskan untuk pergi ke Batu Caves dan Dataran Merdeka (karena saya keukeuh mau ke KL City Gallery).

KL Tower dari jaaaaauuuuh~ (tuh langitnya masih gelap)

Dari hostel, kami naik monorail ke KL Sentral, lalu nyebrang mall untuk naik KTM Komuter ke arah Batu Caves. Tiketnya cuma 2 RM dan keretanya bagus banget!

Pesawat mendarat pukul 4 lewat di KLIA2. Saya dan Finka langsung... cari wifi biar bisa mengabari Zahra kalau kami sudah sampai. Begitu WiFi on, chat dari Zahra langsung masuk semua, udah bosen kayaknya dia karena kami nggak sampe-sampe.

KLIA 2

Beres urusan imigrasi, saya dan Finka langsung naik SkyBus KLIA2 - KL Sentral. Tiket SkyBus ini kami pesan saat pesan tiket pesawat di website airasia. Harganya kalo nggak salah 12RM, kata Finka, beli sekalian di web lebih murah daripada beli langsung di bandara. Begitu sampai di tempat bus, kalau sudah online booking, langsung tunjukkin screenshot booking atau print out ticket nya aja. Nanti boleh masuk. Bus ini 2 seater dan jarak antar kursinya cukup luas, jadi tetap terasa nyaman walaupun backpack saya dan Finka ditaro di depan kaki.

Kira-kira 3 hari sebelum flight, setelah saya, Finka, dan Zahra membereskan urusan tuker uang di money changer, packing list, dan rencana ketemuan di bandara, tiba-tiba Zahra ngirim foto di grup chat :

"teman-teman, kok tiket ku tulisannya jam 8, ya?"

nah loh

ternyata, akibat beli tiketnya nyusul, Finka salah pilihin tiket dan ngebeliin Zahra tiket jam 8 pagi, sementara tiket saya dan Finka jam 1 siang! Jadilah setelah browsing sana sini dan kalo mau reschedule flight bayarnya lumayan mahal, akhirnya Zahra tetap berangkat sendiri. Setelah itu dia nggak akan nunggu saya dan Finka di bandara (karena kami baru akan tiba jam 4 sore) tapi langsung check in di hostel yang sudah kami pesan.

di hari-H, saya dan Finka bertemu di bandara sesuai rencana. Mendekati waktu penerbangan, kami mulai chatting sama Zahra yang sudah sampai di Malaysia dan sedang makan KFC (?). Alhamdulillah penerbangannya lancar dan dia mau siap-siap berangkat ke hostel.

Saya dan Finka pun boarding. Karena tempat duduk kami nggak sebelahan, kami ngantri terpisah dan langsung menuju ke tempat duduk masing-masing. Saya dapet kursi di aisle dan di sebelah saya adalah sepasang suami istri yang sudah cukup tua (yah, kan padahal maunya ala-ala The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight -,-). Saat itu hujan cukup deras, pas mau naik bus sebelum boarding pun sekeliling bandara kelihatan berkabut. Saya udah berdoa pengen delay aja rasanya karena belum pernah terbang pas lagi hujan. Walaupun kata ayah nggak apa-apa (kalo udah di ketinggian jelajah mah udah nggak ujan, kak, kata ayah), tapi tetep aja khawatir.

Jadi, daripada suudzon dan mikir macem-macem, saya langsung baca inflight magazine begitu duduk di kursi pesawat. Tapi pas pramugarinya meragain cara evakuasi, saya langsung fokus merhatiin pramugarinya, makanya begitu mereka stop di tengah-tengah pas lagi meragain masker oksigen, saya ikut ngeliatin pramugarinya jalan ke beberapa kursi di belakang saya, daaaan... marahin orang yang masih nyalain HP.

note : hi there! It's been a looooong time. I was going to make a series about traveling to Bali, but losing the mood very soon after. Anyway, I'm going again, to Kuala Lumpur now. So, here's my Kuala Lumpur episodes.

finka : teh, ini ada tiket kuala lumpur - seoul - kuala lumpur 2 juta, kuala lumpur - tokyo - kuala lumpur 2,3 juta, khusus januari dan februari 2014.
fitri : die. gapunya uaaaaaaaaaang

hi there, beautiful skyline! [source]

red buildings! source

Hari Jum'at, saya dan Fadilah bangun di Surabaya, agak kaget juga liat langitnya sudah cukup terang padahal masih pagi banget. Hari ini kami rencana untuk jalan-jalan di Surabaya sambil menunggu jadwal kereta ke Banyuwangi di siang hari.

Kemana aja di Surabaya? Pertama-tama, kami mampir ke toko sambel Bu Rudi lalu berencana untuk ke toko eskrim di jalan Pemuda. Sayangnya, tokonya masih tutup, jadi kami akhirnya diajak makan sate kelapa. Setelah kenyang, kami lalu nyebrang Suramadu; belum ke Surabaya soalnya kalau belum ke Suramadu. Tapi karena sudah cukup mepet sama waktu kami berangkat, akhirnya beneran cuma nyebrang Suramadu aja naik mobil terus balik lagi ke Surabaya. Lumayan, lah, ya, minimal pernah lewat Suramadu ;).

Menuju Suramadu!

Beres nyebrang Suramadu, kami balik ke rumah saudaranya Fadilah dan bersiap-siap berangkat lagi. Karena berangkat dari rumah saudara, alhamdulillah dibekelin makan dan ini itu (walaupun nggak ngalahin bawaan keluarga yang sharing tempat duduk kemarin). Saya dan Fadilah pun cetak tiket di Stasiun Gubeng Surabaya, lalu,

Mau ke mana pas di Bali? Saya belum tahu, yang jelas tiket kereta ke Banyuwangi sudah di tangan.